The Electronic Future of Smoking

Do you want all eyes in the room focused strictly on you? Do
you want vague potential health benefits? Well, kids, toss
out those cancer sticks and replace them with a thin tube of
plastic containing a lithium-ion battery that heats liquid
nicotine into a stream of vapor. Welcome to the future of
smoking.

This week, Ryanair (the preferred budget airline of most
every European student) announced they will start selling
no-smoke cigarettes on flights. The cleverly named "Similar
Smokeless Cigarettes" aren't precisely the same as the
vaporizer-based electronic version, but there's nothing like
a planeful of folks sucking on something that resembles
a cigarette to bring smoking back to the mainstream.

Sure, the chemicals inside might numb your tongue after
a while, and heaven forbid you drunkenly attempt to crush
out the $80 glorified smoke, but what price vanity? Start
sucking on a smokeless smoke, exhaling a sweet nothing of
a vapor, and, I can attest, all eyes will focus on you.
Better yet, whip out your laptop and plug your cigarette
into the USB charger. People will talk. But they likely won't
talk for long. Pseudo-rettes are on their way to the
mainstream.

In late July, the FDA released its evaluation of the
technology. The study was a fairly straightforward
undertaking to determine the "nicotine content and other
impurities" of two brands of electronic cigarettes.
"The Center [of Drug Evaluation and Research] is concerned
that in addition to nicotine delivery, the vapor may also
provide other potentially harmful volatile components," reads
the study background.

Scientists tested for tobacco-specific carcinogenic
impurities and they found them, at very low levels. Meaning,
on this count at least, that e-cigs are less harmful than
ordinary cigarettes. Some e-cigarettes sell nicotine-less
cartridges and in some of these, researchers discovered,
there are in fact "very low amounts of nicotine present."
This is tantamount to discovering there are trace levels of
alcohol in O'Douls. Surely there are other ways to get your
oral fixation.

They also found some rather unsavory chemicals, including
diethylene glycol, which is an ingredient in anti-freeze. The
amount is hardly toxic, but the mere fact has sent the
opposing sides into respective tizzies. Despite their
eponymous origins, e-cigs are currently unregulated, meaning
they can be purchased by anyone willing to pony up the $50 or
more e-cigs run. This children-might-smoke-it claim is one of
the biggest guns in the e-cig opponents' rack. Most
manufacturers sell cartridges filled with "exotic" flavors
like rose and chocolate and cigar and, oddly enough, green
tea -- proof beyond the shadow of a doubt, goes the argument,
that these are targeted at kids.

Fans, meanwhile, have latched onto every imaginable tack,
from the green angle (fewer butts!), to the conspiracy
(Big Tobacco is keeping them down!), to a bound-to-backfire
defense of e-cigs' smoking cessation potential (nicotine gum
and the like is regulated by the FDA). The last boasts
defenders in high places. In April, there was a small
congressional brouhaha of sorts after one senator called for
a ban until the FDA could verify the device's safety and
another fought back insisting no action should be taken, that
they were effective means of quitting smoking.

Which leaves the two sides at a stalemate. The fallout of the
FDA's report, despite the fairly benign findings, has been
a predictable groundswell of political fervor. Connecticut's
attorney general has issued a warning, Oregon's has filed
a lawsuit, one county in Long Island has voted to ban them.
Facebook has banned ads, PayPal has cracked down and just
last week Amazon reportedly announced to merchants their sale
was prohibited.

The manufacturers are fighting back, and the fans are
rallying, and only time will tell which side will win.
Likely, the makers will cave and start submitting for
regulation, the e-smokers will grumble about Big Tobacco and
nanny states, and within a few years no one will blink at
a smoker puffing away at a cigarette that needs to be charged.